The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
