Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
