I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This is my gift to your gina
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
