my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
