he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
