i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
