hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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