My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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