So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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