At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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