If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
