He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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