Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
