That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
