Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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