I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
