just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
