He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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