How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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