just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
