Nicole vs. Life
My hand turned me down
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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