i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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