With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
