he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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