Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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