My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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