Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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