hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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