You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
