I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
