I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
