i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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