Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
