I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
