Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
