Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
