I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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