he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
