I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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