her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
