So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
