Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
