Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
