i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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