This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
