im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize