well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it glows. i had to have it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
