We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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