Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
