update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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