haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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