Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
