If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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