I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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