You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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