Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
