It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
