My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize