The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
